Earn Your Coffee ...

Staying Motivated As We Enter The Last Stretch

It’s 8:30 am as I sit down to write this. Between waking at 7:40, and now, I made out a list of the day’s chores and errands, as I do every morning. And then, after setting out the coffee-fixings on the kitchen counter, I did my morning work-out.

This is a series of dumbbell exercises that I do religiously now that I’m old. The regimen breaks down into six weight-lifting procedures. These are divided into two on a given day, so that each one is repeated every third day. I figure that this gives me ample recovery time, and also doesn’t ask too much of me on any one morning.

Today was Shoulders & Chest. Tomorrow will be Biceps & Triceps. Yesterday was Back & Neck. I throw in some other strength-training here and there, like the forearm grips I often do on my daily walks. And goblet lifts that I do less regularly.

My coffee sits next to me in a thermo-mug. It tastes wonderful. You see, I have learned that I should do the weights before the coffee, so that I’m working toward something I always enjoy. I want to link efforts to rewards whenever I can. I’m not really the David Goggins type. Not one of these guys who seem to be locked into a battle between the limits of their bodies, and their own dogged will.

You know the type. These guys who are always talking with and about each other using terms like ripped and shredded. Like ‘grindset’, and beast-mode.

Interesting terminology. Sounds a little over-the-top if you’re asking me.

But I’d be lying by omission if I failed to admit to a certain show-off energy present even in my own modest exercise habits. At least once a week, I meet up with my friend Alexia and we take on a fairly aggressive 4 to 5 mile hike. We talk about many things as we climb the sharp slopes of my neighborhood, or the long grades of hers. But sooner or later we’ll gloat a little about how people we know could never keep up with us.

I’m only human. Not interested in somehow transcending that fact. So if the occasional moments of ego-gratification help me live longer and healthier … so be it. And if the promise of a morning treat gets me into action before my innate laziness talks me into a do-nothing day, then I will have coffee only after I’ve done my reps.

I live alone. I have only my own company, 90% of the time. Nobody has to remind me of my long histories of both addiction and procrastination, or how isolation plays into self-destruction. So it is vitally important that I find ways to stay motivated.

During my 35 years painting houses, I outsourced my motivation. Once I had delivered a written estimate and had been hired to perform the listed tasks; I had all of the motivation I needed. I can easily put off the unpleasant when left to my own devices. But when I am at another person’s home, with ladders out and power-cords snaking around the yard, I am not going to be seen slacking off.

Enough childhood insecurity is embedded in my psyche, that I must be thought of as hard-working and competent. Particularly by strangers who have hired me from an ad, and upon whose satisfaction - and referrals - I depend for my livelihood. Every working day was slightly burdened by my need to be perceived as something better and stronger than I myself thought I was.

I doubt that I’m much of a rarity in that department.

It’s different now. Now I have a passive income that covers my expenses if only barely. Now nobody is looking at me all day every day, wondering if I’m going to finish what I’ve started.

If I want to keep being healthy and productive and well-thought-of, then I have to devise more intimate forms of outsourcing. I have to acknowledge that within me lies a self-critic perfectly capable of driving me into a depression, and possibly back into a bottle.

The happy homeowner handing me a check, has been replaced by weights and long fast walks and the stacks of daily to-do lists scrawled on the backs of left-over promo flyers.

I have to construct my self-respect each day, from whatever raw materials are still available to me. These materials nowadays are various arrangements of the talents I’ve developed over a lifetime.

Performing songs I’ve written, producing events, and doing whatever this is. At this age, hobbies can be elevated into avocations. Making them sources of self-worth hinges on how well and often we can contribute them with enough skill and good will, that they enrich the lives of others.

I suggest that this is the case for all of us, once we’ve logged the career hours, clocked out for the last time, and begun to grouse about how we’re now getting by on a ‘fixed-income’.

If we want to last a good while, and not be seen as used up - or worse, as a burden - we’ve got to develop a system that feeds back contentment when we invest effort.

For me, that begins every morning when I tell myself this:

”Dave … get up and earn your coffee.”

We’ll talk more about this later. Feel free to leave a comment.